Relax....

...something I have got to figure out how to do. The muscles in my back are nothing but knots. The chiropractor is helping-some. He even commented Saturday that we've got to do something about the tight muscles--but no suggestions. Sometimes it's as though he takes his time, even spends extra and other days it feels as though I'm being rushed through. Just the basic adjustment m'am. No time for extra kneading or alignment. It's somewhat of a frustrating process really. Some days I feel great and others I have this annoying little continous pain. I feel progress...and then I feel setback. And I wonder in those times I feel setback if I'll be labeled as 'milking' it if I go in for an adjustment. Hell, I'm paying for--quite a bit too. And that brings a whole other set of stress.

I think it's just life getting me down at the moment. And of course hating myself for all the stupid things I've done in my life. The fall down the stairs and not doing anything for months being at the forefront of my mind.

I probably shouldn't have but I did splurge and go get a massage this afternoon. Only thirty minutes, but worth it. I finally got rid of the shoulder soreness I've had since leaving Branson. It wasn't the usual person I go to but it's something I can do from time to time and will try to do. With all the stress and everything else I need things to help me relax.

If only...